You are what you say; I am nothing

Now is the thrust of my disquiet
Made unceasing bitterness by bouts with nausea
and epileptic prophet-hood;
When, knowingly, lightheaded faith
Turns as the cold warrior turns
Conceding partly through half mentioned conceits
and the unbending will of a mental canker
Hushed I remain - lips sealed thinly
Intimations of perverse disillusionment
revealed as such: immense silence
Grim-visaged man footing the brink
alternating between various inactions
and various levels of stoicism
I sometimes feel as if the message
that will be my remembrance -what endures
when flesh does not and what inspires
when truth cannot - will be my most innocuous words
My most unfulfilled sentiments
And my most blatant misgivings

I can never be more than what I have become