Ruinous nuisance (amethyst)

I set aflame the brittle, peeling self
Ego-death; I am no longer am
I am no longer was and will be
I am the memory of shivering
The recollection of flesh pooling
In hideous masses, of orgiastic flashes
I am pure locution - legs thrust forward
Looming farther and farther
Pounding the midnight soil
in the unconscious search for kinetic death
Thermodynamic self erasure
Chemical blinders from the sanity shredding
Banality of this mundane realm
This chunk of rock, this seat of pride
This eternal civil war, this hitchhike into
our stolid, ethereal, cinematic mausoleum
Twinkling pupils hovering in the weight of pitch
That blanket of nothing from which we derive
all somethings; we set off on our journey
wailing, vomiting the potent verbiage of life
And knowing only this tremble in terror
at the thought: inhaling clouds of not
and exhaling our beings as mere nutritional value
I take disassociated comfort in the knowledge
That my singular, so far ineffective self
Will breed legions of selves
each armed with an an arsenal
of idiosyncrasies and pleasures earthly
I'll take the black eye
for their kaleidoscopic lives